Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
