question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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