I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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