I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
