dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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