She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
