I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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