Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
