Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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