drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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