i don't like sucking hair
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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