I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize