foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
