i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
