im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
