Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
