You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
