I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
