I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize