How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
