Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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