I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
third nipple confirmed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
