Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
