I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
there is glitter all over my balls
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
