after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
