it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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