when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
