I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
