idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
