Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
