A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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