god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
