id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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