we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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