Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
