Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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