I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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