how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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