Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
