Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
