he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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