So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
