I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm determined to sit on that face.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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