i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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