Your tits are I can't wait for
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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