U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
