We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
