Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
nut hugger
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
