garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Can Purell be used as lube?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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