Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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