That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
