he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
