dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
