Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
