Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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