hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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