hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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