We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
