Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
