dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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