I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
