This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
