This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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